Madeira News Blog

TODAY’S PHOTO : Thanks to Sam … "It was taken a couple of weeks ago from the Miradouro between São Jorge and Ponta del Garda. We couldn’t find the restaurant tho!"

Sheila suggested to me that we look out for other funny photographs, especially signs like this, road signs, warning signs etc. Anyone have anything they can send in please?

It has gone midnight as I write this, in what may be my final story. Not much point in going to bed, as I have a raging toothache, for reasons that will become clear very soon, and the only relief I have is the soothing effects of Becks Bolero (nothing to do with somebody called Jeff, or brands of beer), but help is on the way. This month as you know has been an attempt to make this a community blog, with mixed results. With most of today and tomorrow still to go we have almost already beaten the previous blog record (under Madeira Island Direct) for the number of visits, although the number of contributors required is nowhere near that required, with half a dozen or so real heroes making a real effort to keep it going. But the sponsor is due to decide very very soon how or if the sponsorship will continue. I have a couple of really good (in my opinion) stories still to contribute, so whether I will get to write them or not we will soon know.

I had a little chortle yesterday, as I read some of the comments, especially after Martin had asked what Garajau was like as a place to live in. This was a man asking a question about what a place was like to live in, and god bless Elaine and Sue, but he didn’t want to know about hairdressers and knitting shops, he needed to know the hard facts about Garajau, and the script from a good estate agent would have been far different, although I did get a sniff of a curry house and pizza joint, so full marks for that.

Had I been ‘selling’ Garajau, I would have informed Martin … "that all the houses and apartments have rooms to sleep, rooms to eat, and rooms to watch TV, and Garajau also has an aguardente plant". "What was that last bit again?", Martin would have asked, and as I explained the meaning of Poncha, his eyes would have widened, his jaw would have dropped, and his cheque book would have been out, with poor old Mrs. Martin having absolutely no say on the matter.

Anyway I digress, as I wanted to explain about Garajau aguardente, which I think I may have mentioned before contains a section of bamboo cane or similar stick, around 15 cm in length. I really have no idea whether this stick is included in the one litre of aguardente, or is in fact a bonus, and the liquid contents are in fact one litre, and not one litre less the stick. I was quite concerned about this when I brought the bottle a couple of weeks ago, and had every intention of emptying the rather unattractive bottle into a measuring jug. But deterred by the price of the rather juiceless lemons at the time, it was a week or so later that I made the last batch of poncha, and in the excitement I totally forgot to measure the bottle contents, but next time I definitely won’t forget. (Going from Becks Bolero to Kylie Mynooogie at this stage, and the toothache is no longer soothed).

Anyway (again), no doubt some people will be thinking at this stage, "why the hell I am I reading this trash", so I should clarify that this stick is equal to a very very good night’s sleep in its equivalent liquid form, so it easily warrants a good discussion.

Anyway (yet again), the story started earlier in the night as I invented ‘Toranja Poncha’. I assume I invented it, as nobody has ever mentioned it before … or am I wrong?. With the benefit of being a citrus fruit much less sweet than oranges, and much cheaper and juicier than the lemons available at the moment, at €1.29 a kilo in Pingos, surely it was worth the risk as an investment, purely for the prevention and cure for Gripe A I thought.

Anyway (yet yet again) the brew was made just a couple of hours ago with the secret ingredients of aguardente, bee honey, and fruit juice, and the resulting potion is currently chilling in the fridge as I write, hopefully ready to ease my aching tooth and ensure at least a little bit of shut eye tonight.

Anyway ( … ), back to the Garajau aguardente and the stick. Having now made my second poncha batch and totally emptied the liquid contents of the bottle, I was finally able to extract the stick and undertake some scientific analysis of the offending item. Firstly, unlike sugar cane as seen being chewed by desperate agricultural workers who forgot their sandwiches, this cannot be chewed. These men are born with special iron teeth for chewing sugar cane. Do not even attempt to chew, unless you want a set of choppers just like the average sandwichless agricultural worker walking our country roads with a scythe on his shoulder … please take my word for it … do not attempt to chew it. It also cannot be sucked out or wrung-out as a means of extracting its valuable contents. Thirdly, do not put it in the liquidizer unless you also want a blade bent upwards at right angles. I have not yet decided what to do with it, as it is like having a large piece of high grade gold ore, but no smelting gear, but I would imagine it might do well as a distress flare or incendiary device. If I find the solution in time I will post it here.

My next report, on the aroma, taste and health benefits of ‘Toranja Poncha’ will also follow … assuming I survive the experience that is. It’s been chilling now for 47 and almost half a minute, so I think it should now be in perfect supping condition, but I won’t be back here tonight to report, that’s a certainty.

"We headed off from the bay about 1.00 pm and set sail on a bearing that would take us along the western side of the Isles Desertas which are essentially a couple of volcanic islands that rise up thousands of metres from the sea bed and as their name describes, are extremely deserted and remote, with just a couple of park wardens who live there, ensuring the very strict access laws are enforced to the letter". The fleeting visit of Sunboy the Sailboat to our archipelago.

Many thanks to Elaine again for the pick of the stories from yesterday’s news :

False shipwreck. SANAS, Navy, Maritime Police and the Portuguese Air Force (a ‘Merlin’ from Porto Santo) were engaged yesterday morning in a search and rescue operation following an emergency signal issued by a fast-launch sinking in the area between Madalena do Mar and Calheta. The effort was called off when the signal was traced to a boat in dry dock in Calheta. The launch had been impounded in 2005 when seized at the request of the Spanish authorities on suspicion of being used by an international network of drug traffickers. It is not the first time for a false rescue situation. The Commander of the Maritime Zone said, with both amusement and irritation, "It was an actual operation that ultimately served as training." The reasons that led to the activation of the EPIRB emergency signal are being determined to try and prevent a future occurrence. It is reassuring to other boat owners to hear of the operation.

2.5% of gambling revenue (12 million Euros) can solve many of the problems of sport. The final amendments to the Finance Act, affecting transfer of money from the State to the Region, are to be sent to the Portuguese Government for approval. 12 million Euros could be collected from the lotteries run by the Santa Casa de Misericordia. At present, the Madeira Government only receives 0.2% of revenue. In 2008, out of a total revenue of €492.8 million, Madeira only received about 980,000 Euros. The amendments propose that the autonomous regions shall be entitled to a share proportional to the quota of the people in each country. Madeira represents 2.5% of the Portuguese population and the Azores 2.3%. With this amendment, Madeira would have received €12.3 million. The money is to be spent between the sectors of social welfare, home affairs, sports and culture.

24 Unemployed Graduates in Senior Education. The focus on training professionals in gerontology is one of the objectives of the new Gerontology Plan 2009 – 2013. The University of Madeira launched a course in 2005/6 for Senior Education, to cater for demographic changes and new social demands. Few graduates have employment and complain that there are few career opportunities in the area as the training and regional authorities do not know about their degree, which is not listed in the National Classification of Qualifications used when they register at the Institute of Employment. The new Gerontology Plan will increase demand for their abilities.

Ex-deputy of the Socialist Party exchanges "hard day-to-day politics" to become manager of a business park. Maximiano Martins has accepted an invitation to be an administrator of Lispolis which runs a Lisbon business park of about 100 technology based companies. The revenue of the firm is €2 million and he will be responsible for presenting new projects of the association involving investments of millions of Euros. —-‘Jobs for the boys’

Metal detector at the entrance of the Judicial Court in Funchal results in security guards confiscating razors, knives and guns. Fewer offensive weapons are now taken to court, at first about twenty but now no more than three a day. Most people do respect the judges and the courts. Flared tempers usually lead to verbal aggression but sometimes they spill over into violence, especially in cases arising form long-standing family disputes. —— No indication of how long the detector has been there. They were installed late last year if my my memory serves me, as I recall almost the exact same story in January this year. Der

Landfill washed into the sea is no different from deposition after rainfall. Reply by the MDS after a complaint reported by the Diário yesterday about the construction of the promenade near Praia Formosa. They say that the temporary landfill which might be washed into the sea is no different from normal deposition when rainfall increases the flows of streams. They allege the statement was political exploitation by the Communist Party.

Still no licence application from the Chinese megastore. Machico Council, who also have to give authorization,  have received an application but the Regional Directorate of Trade, Industry and Energy have not. The store is supposed to be opening in November.

Lisbon orders review of ‘factoring’ debts used by Funchal Council to circumvent the debt limit, costing 327,000 Euros in commissions and interest. In 2008, the Tribunal de Contas (Court of Auditors) acquitted the council of ‘factoring’ debts to suppliers. This was to reduce the amount of interest payable and therefore beneficial to the council. ‘Factoring’ is when the suppliers are paid through the bank using short-term credit and the council have a duty to pay the bank and not the suppliers. Lisbon has upheld the appeal that this does count as debt. This latest ruling means that the mayor, Miguel Albuquerque might be liable to pay a fine of 6.50 Euros, Rui Marote a former councillor 9,000 Euros and Pedro Calado a councillor 1,350 Euros.

The President of the Tribunal de Contas has also complained that parliamentary groups in the Legislative Assembly are not submitting accounts supporting transfers they have received, but refused to name them.

Carlos Pereira sues Jardim for 35,000 Euros. Carlos Pereira is the deputy of the Socialist Party in the Regional Assembly (Parliament). Pereira manages a consulting firm and is suing for loss of dignity and professional competence, and as it is a civil case Jardim does not have immunity from prosecution. There have been previous court cases between these two. —– Who hasn’t Jardim offended?

Conference for school leavers to warn them about becoming victims of international trafficking networks. Illegal immigration and trafficking involving sex and labour exploitation. For labour exploitation of Portuguese, the main countries involved are the Netherlands, United Kingdom, France, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Spain and Ireland.

Mortgage interest rates the lowest ever. 2.36% in September, the average repayment was 263 Euros. —- Will this stimulate buying?

Government promotes organic farming to schoolchildren. Organic farming is increasing both in terms of farmers and area under cultivation. Between 2000 and 2008, the area under cultivation has increased from 21.5 hectares to 237 hectares, and the number of farmers from 17 to 77. This is an increase of over 350% and represents 5% of the total cultivated area of Madeira and Porto Santo.

In 2010, there might be centres for medical and psychological evaluation (CAMP) for assessment for a driving licence. This law has just been passed in Portugal and will be applicable in Madeira if the Regional Government decides to implement it. The applicant has to pay the fee whereas at present they just need a free medical certificate from the family doctor. This includes anyone over 70 who needs to renew their licence. Psychological evaluation will only be necessary for applicants in certain groups.

"Obrigado Madeira!" The only words said in Portuguese by the President of the Republic of Poland, visiting yesterday for the tribute to Marshal Josef Pilsudski. He praised Poland’s good relationship with the region and highlighted similarities between both countries; reclaimed democracy and freedom in  Europe and NATO, and growth despite the present economic climate. He said that Madeira "is a bit of a different world." He was "delighted" to see the statue of Polish Pope John Paul II. Miguel Albuquerque said that Funchal and Gdansk had a good partnership. The Polish representative said that 80% of Poles want to stay in the EU because they feel safer.

Google Street View coming to Madeira. According to Diário Cidade. The areas visited will be Funchal, Câmara de Lobos and Caniço. The data will be available in about two months time and the purpose is to aid tourism, education and housing.

Hunger strike next to Tribunal da Vara Mista in Funchal. The man involved is unhappy about salary issues related to an accident when falling seven metres off scaffolding during the construction of a building next to a school in Santa Cruz last year. He sat near the Tribunal entrance from 15.00 Tuesday, stayed overnight and was persuaded to leave late Wednesday by a lawyer and a relative.

Brazilian war frigate, ‘Defensora’ in port. The frigate has been to Scotland for training exercises with Navies from different countries, and has stopped here on its return to Brazil. It is an opportunity to make contact with the Portuguese Navy and Portuguese people, and to enjoy the hospitality of Madeira.

From today’s news (back to Der) :

Many may not remember, as there have been no reports for months, but ‘Baby Rodrigo’, the Madeiran born baby who needed and eventually received a bone marrow transplant earlier this year, eventually rejected it and died in Funchal yesterday. Rodrigo was diagnosed with leukaemia six weeks after birth, and a nationwide hunt was launched to find a donor, but unsuccessfully. Eventually, at the twelfth hour, an international search found a suitable donor in Germany, and the operation was successfully undertaken in Lisbon in May. He died in hospital in Funchal yesterday aged just 14 months.

From today’s Diário front page :

Madeira exports hospital waste that ought to be burned in Meia Serra (at the waste processing plant). A war between the Valor Ambiente and the consortium contractor of the waste processing plant pulled back the treatment and systems of hazardous waste years ago. The current procedure is more expensive.

Main headline : Council sues Metropolitana – The Development Society plays down the critics of the irregular dumping connected with its works on the Public Walkway project in Praia Formosa, making an analogy with the mud that on a rainy day is washed naturally from the rivers into the sea. Funchal Council reacts with an action that will result in a fine for Metropolitana. I just realised that Elaine covered it above, so it looks like the same story has been promoted to the front page.

Queiroz counts on Ruben Micael. Micael (photo),  from Câmara de Lobos, that plays (a blinder) for Nacional, has been selected by national coach Carlos Queiroz for the preliminary squad to play against Bosnia in the World Cup play-off game. The selection, thought by many to be overdue, may lead to a regular place in the Portugal squad that will go to South Africa next year, that is of course if they can beat Bosnia on 14th and 18th November. Another Nacional player João Aurélio has been selected for the national under-21 squad to play against England (14th November) and Greece (17th November).

Romeira invites daughter-in-law to be assistant. The auntie of the daughter-in-law will be secretary of the president of São Vicente, that appointed his colleague at the hospital as office manager. Hope that’s correct, and isn’t it great to know that nepotism still rules here on Madeira.

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Today’s Diário is almost true to the letter of the ‘law’, which says that on the day before elections there should be no political activity and it should serve as a day of reflection, and only has one political story today, compared to an average of around 30 every day this week. The law specifies that candidates cannot go out on the streets pestering people, rallies are banned, and normally political propaganda posters have to be removed from the streets, and that last point is the subject of today’s article. Because of the close proximity of the local elections, the National Election Commission has decided to turn a blind eye to the fact that streets are still littered with posters, and would presumably just be replaced again on Monday if the law was enforced.

Anyway, I am going to have to break that rule with a true story* of an important, or rather unfortunate, political event that happened late last night here in Ribeira Brava. It was strange really, as I have already said that there have been no rallies or candidates visiting the town as far as I know, and even the number of posters could be counted on one hand. I think this town must have a reputation as a political ‘dead zone’, but last night that was all about to change.

It must have been around 11.30 pm, just 30 minutes before any political activity became illegal, when I entered a late night drinking establishment, and as is normal I did a quick scan of the joint before taking a seat at the bar. I recognised all of the faces, a dozen or so, except for one man in a grey suit sat at the far end of the bar from me. He looked like he had come straight out of a second hand car lot, with greased back black hair and a goaty beard (no no not goatee!), you know the sort. Anyway I greeted those nearest to me and ordered a soft drink (well it was certainly soft if one poked a finger in it), and quickly surveyed the joint, noticing a number of red objects on the bar and tables where people were sat. Some people had red baseball caps, note books, pens, pencils, and a few even had bright red oven mitts. Strange I thought, but the sight of my beverage arriving and the man in the grey suit getting off his stool and heading my way distracted my attention. I gave the barman a €5 note, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the grey suited man plonk himself on the stool next to me and put a large white carrier bag on the floor between us. I have no need for a second hand car, so I was already mentally practicing my "no speaking Portuguese" retort as I could see he was about to speak to me, and he did.

I will have to divert from the story at this stage, just to explain something highly relevant. My oven gloves at home have been in poor condition for some time now. It all started one time when someone else was using them, and a large black burn hole appeared on one hand (yes I know who you are, and I haven’t forgotten that you tried to hide the fact). After that things went downhill, and the stitching started working loose, and stains appeared that couldn’t be shifted however many times they went in the washing machine. For several years now I have been looking out for new oven gloves, you know the sort where both hands are joined together, but the only pair I saw cost 11.49 bl**dy Euros. I had seen plenty of ‘one handed’ oven mitts, but they just wouldn’t do the same job, and by the time I had brought two they would work out to be even more expensive. The best thing to do therefore was to minimise use of the oven, until the problem could be resolved, and as a result it hasn’t been switched on since last Christmas. Anyway back to last night …

The man spoke to me with forked political tongue, and pointed to his white carrier bag on the floor. What is it this time I thought, wet fish, lapas, overpriced undersized pyjamas, … but as a courtesy I looked down and peered into the bag to spot lots of red objects … type as previously described as littering the tables of the establishment at that precise moment. A deep stoop and a closer peer into the bag, and I could see red notepads with a white PS branded on the covers. It then suddenly dawned on me that this man was either a campaigner, or even an actual candidate for the PS socialist party, and that this was his bag of goodies to entice the wavering voters. Of course I am unable to vote in national elections, but clearly he didn’t know that yet, and I had to think quickly and slip on my best Portuguese tongue before my cover was blown, in order to acquire the maximum selection from that white bag, hopefully even a red oven mitt, or even two. Just then my change arrived from the €5 note, and I put out my left hand to receive it, and answered the man’s question with an equal measure of forked tongue, about how I was thinking of voting PS, but that I was still torn between them and the BE Left Block, who had a much catchier theme tune. A few seconds went by, and I couldn’t hold back any longer, and I spouted out "tem lá lutas". He didn’t understand, so I pointed with my right hand to my raised left hand, which was purely by chance clenched tightly as it still contained my change from the bar, and repeated "luta, luta", waving my clenched fist, not really being sure of the exact complete word for oven gloves. His expression changed, and at that point things started to go downhill. Anyway, to cut a long story short, as I wrestled him to the floor, a beer got knocked over soaking his grey suit, and as other customers heard the breaking glass, bodies came running over to pull us apart. Strangely though, it was as I had my hands around his throat that I suddenly remembered that the Portuguese word for ‘glove’ is in fact ‘luva’, and logically ‘oven glove’ would be ‘luva do forno’. ‘Luta’ means ‘fight’.

Anyway we got separated, and after a few minutes of exchanging threats and insults, when the best I could manage was "I’m going to tell Uncle Bertie where you live" (which drew blank looks all around) the matter was eventually straightened out. But after all that, he didn’t have any oven mitts left. I did however get a nice pencil with a built in eraser, a pretty cr*ppy pen, and a PS notepad.

That was the night that politics in Ribeira Brava came ‘back to life’.

* Embellished in parts for heightened enjoyment

I am a bit the worse for wear this morning, having unexpectedly stayed out until 2am last night, but I have a good excuse so I am not in the least bit embarrassed. 

It was a sort of strange night, as I went into town just as it was getting dark. I was feeling a bit down, after a day when nothing seemed to go right, and in a week I when learned that there is going to be a huge new building constructed across from me, planing consent having just been granted. So what you say? This new building is bigger than the one where I live, and that’s pretty big. So what you say? My building needed many many months to prepare the land, just taking out rock to shape the site, this new bigger project is going to take out much more rock … so there will be months and months of tak tak tak tak as the machines take out thousands of tonnes. If you have ever lived in a narrow valley with pneumatic drills in use, you will know what I mean. Even the elections that were cheesing me off a little, have paled into insignificance compared to that prospect.

So I went into a regular haunt for a chat, then I went off to watch some of the late match in a restaurant, when a friend turned up. He told me that Vânia Fernandes was in town, and singing in another restaurant at 11pm. If you don’t know who Vânia is by now, you must have missed a lot of previous blogs. Madeira’s favourite daughter is the winner of last years pop idol competition in Portugal, as well as the entrant for last years Eurovision song contest. I had seen her perform live once before, and I was well up for a repeat performance.

Vânia Fernandes in Ribeira Brava May 2009

I didn’t know any of the music (mostly Jazz-Soul), but she was fantastic, in presence and in voice. She got the audience involved for one song, and she is such a natural on stage that it was mesmerising to watch. She did half a dozen songs I guess, and her boyfriend also did a couple of numbers, so it was all over pretty quickly. Once the show was over Vânia wondered around talking to friends, which she clearly had plenty of there, and then went indoors with her band members. What came next I didn’t expect, as I mentioned to my pal that I would love to meet her, and 5 minutes later there she was, right in front of me, giving me a big hug and beijinhos. She was lovely, and she stayed a few minutes to chat and have her photo taken with me, and I was so overcome I totally forgot how to speak Portuguese, I was almost speechless in fact, and just babbled a load of nonsense.

So anyway, that made my day, and my week. I am promised a copy of the photo of me and Vânia in an embrace, so I might share that when it comes. Vânia said she would check out this blog today, and I know I have said all nice things about her, but they are all true and she deserves them! Thank you Vânia!

As far as meeting Madeira’s most famous people goes, that’s two down, two to go. CR7 and Uncle Bertie might prove to be a bit trickier me thinks.

PS – sorry about the poor photo … I only had my camera phone to hand, and it was very dark