Madeira News Blog

TODAY’S PHOTO : Thanks to Sam … "It was taken a couple of weeks ago from the Miradouro between São Jorge and Ponta del Garda. We couldn’t find the restaurant tho!"

Sheila suggested to me that we look out for other funny photographs, especially signs like this, road signs, warning signs etc. Anyone have anything they can send in please?

It has gone midnight as I write this, in what may be my final story. Not much point in going to bed, as I have a raging toothache, for reasons that will become clear very soon, and the only relief I have is the soothing effects of Becks Bolero (nothing to do with somebody called Jeff, or brands of beer), but help is on the way. This month as you know has been an attempt to make this a community blog, with mixed results. With most of today and tomorrow still to go we have almost already beaten the previous blog record (under Madeira Island Direct) for the number of visits, although the number of contributors required is nowhere near that required, with half a dozen or so real heroes making a real effort to keep it going. But the sponsor is due to decide very very soon how or if the sponsorship will continue. I have a couple of really good (in my opinion) stories still to contribute, so whether I will get to write them or not we will soon know.

I had a little chortle yesterday, as I read some of the comments, especially after Martin had asked what Garajau was like as a place to live in. This was a man asking a question about what a place was like to live in, and god bless Elaine and Sue, but he didn’t want to know about hairdressers and knitting shops, he needed to know the hard facts about Garajau, and the script from a good estate agent would have been far different, although I did get a sniff of a curry house and pizza joint, so full marks for that.

Had I been ‘selling’ Garajau, I would have informed Martin … "that all the houses and apartments have rooms to sleep, rooms to eat, and rooms to watch TV, and Garajau also has an aguardente plant". "What was that last bit again?", Martin would have asked, and as I explained the meaning of Poncha, his eyes would have widened, his jaw would have dropped, and his cheque book would have been out, with poor old Mrs. Martin having absolutely no say on the matter.

Anyway I digress, as I wanted to explain about Garajau aguardente, which I think I may have mentioned before contains a section of bamboo cane or similar stick, around 15 cm in length. I really have no idea whether this stick is included in the one litre of aguardente, or is in fact a bonus, and the liquid contents are in fact one litre, and not one litre less the stick. I was quite concerned about this when I brought the bottle a couple of weeks ago, and had every intention of emptying the rather unattractive bottle into a measuring jug. But deterred by the price of the rather juiceless lemons at the time, it was a week or so later that I made the last batch of poncha, and in the excitement I totally forgot to measure the bottle contents, but next time I definitely won’t forget. (Going from Becks Bolero to Kylie Mynooogie at this stage, and the toothache is no longer soothed).

Anyway (again), no doubt some people will be thinking at this stage, "why the hell I am I reading this trash", so I should clarify that this stick is equal to a very very good night’s sleep in its equivalent liquid form, so it easily warrants a good discussion.

Anyway (yet again), the story started earlier in the night as I invented ‘Toranja Poncha’. I assume I invented it, as nobody has ever mentioned it before … or am I wrong?. With the benefit of being a citrus fruit much less sweet than oranges, and much cheaper and juicier than the lemons available at the moment, at €1.29 a kilo in Pingos, surely it was worth the risk as an investment, purely for the prevention and cure for Gripe A I thought.

Anyway (yet yet again) the brew was made just a couple of hours ago with the secret ingredients of aguardente, bee honey, and fruit juice, and the resulting potion is currently chilling in the fridge as I write, hopefully ready to ease my aching tooth and ensure at least a little bit of shut eye tonight.

Anyway ( … ), back to the Garajau aguardente and the stick. Having now made my second poncha batch and totally emptied the liquid contents of the bottle, I was finally able to extract the stick and undertake some scientific analysis of the offending item. Firstly, unlike sugar cane as seen being chewed by desperate agricultural workers who forgot their sandwiches, this cannot be chewed. These men are born with special iron teeth for chewing sugar cane. Do not even attempt to chew, unless you want a set of choppers just like the average sandwichless agricultural worker walking our country roads with a scythe on his shoulder … please take my word for it … do not attempt to chew it. It also cannot be sucked out or wrung-out as a means of extracting its valuable contents. Thirdly, do not put it in the liquidizer unless you also want a blade bent upwards at right angles. I have not yet decided what to do with it, as it is like having a large piece of high grade gold ore, but no smelting gear, but I would imagine it might do well as a distress flare or incendiary device. If I find the solution in time I will post it here.

My next report, on the aroma, taste and health benefits of ‘Toranja Poncha’ will also follow … assuming I survive the experience that is. It’s been chilling now for 47 and almost half a minute, so I think it should now be in perfect supping condition, but I won’t be back here tonight to report, that’s a certainty.

"We headed off from the bay about 1.00 pm and set sail on a bearing that would take us along the western side of the Isles Desertas which are essentially a couple of volcanic islands that rise up thousands of metres from the sea bed and as their name describes, are extremely deserted and remote, with just a couple of park wardens who live there, ensuring the very strict access laws are enforced to the letter". The fleeting visit of Sunboy the Sailboat to our archipelago.

Many thanks to Elaine again for the pick of the stories from yesterday’s news :

False shipwreck. SANAS, Navy, Maritime Police and the Portuguese Air Force (a ‘Merlin’ from Porto Santo) were engaged yesterday morning in a search and rescue operation following an emergency signal issued by a fast-launch sinking in the area between Madalena do Mar and Calheta. The effort was called off when the signal was traced to a boat in dry dock in Calheta. The launch had been impounded in 2005 when seized at the request of the Spanish authorities on suspicion of being used by an international network of drug traffickers. It is not the first time for a false rescue situation. The Commander of the Maritime Zone said, with both amusement and irritation, "It was an actual operation that ultimately served as training." The reasons that led to the activation of the EPIRB emergency signal are being determined to try and prevent a future occurrence. It is reassuring to other boat owners to hear of the operation.

2.5% of gambling revenue (12 million Euros) can solve many of the problems of sport. The final amendments to the Finance Act, affecting transfer of money from the State to the Region, are to be sent to the Portuguese Government for approval. 12 million Euros could be collected from the lotteries run by the Santa Casa de Misericordia. At present, the Madeira Government only receives 0.2% of revenue. In 2008, out of a total revenue of €492.8 million, Madeira only received about 980,000 Euros. The amendments propose that the autonomous regions shall be entitled to a share proportional to the quota of the people in each country. Madeira represents 2.5% of the Portuguese population and the Azores 2.3%. With this amendment, Madeira would have received €12.3 million. The money is to be spent between the sectors of social welfare, home affairs, sports and culture.

24 Unemployed Graduates in Senior Education. The focus on training professionals in gerontology is one of the objectives of the new Gerontology Plan 2009 – 2013. The University of Madeira launched a course in 2005/6 for Senior Education, to cater for demographic changes and new social demands. Few graduates have employment and complain that there are few career opportunities in the area as the training and regional authorities do not know about their degree, which is not listed in the National Classification of Qualifications used when they register at the Institute of Employment. The new Gerontology Plan will increase demand for their abilities.

Ex-deputy of the Socialist Party exchanges "hard day-to-day politics" to become manager of a business park. Maximiano Martins has accepted an invitation to be an administrator of Lispolis which runs a Lisbon business park of about 100 technology based companies. The revenue of the firm is €2 million and he will be responsible for presenting new projects of the association involving investments of millions of Euros. —-‘Jobs for the boys’

Metal detector at the entrance of the Judicial Court in Funchal results in security guards confiscating razors, knives and guns. Fewer offensive weapons are now taken to court, at first about twenty but now no more than three a day. Most people do respect the judges and the courts. Flared tempers usually lead to verbal aggression but sometimes they spill over into violence, especially in cases arising form long-standing family disputes. —— No indication of how long the detector has been there. They were installed late last year if my my memory serves me, as I recall almost the exact same story in January this year. Der

Landfill washed into the sea is no different from deposition after rainfall. Reply by the MDS after a complaint reported by the Diário yesterday about the construction of the promenade near Praia Formosa. They say that the temporary landfill which might be washed into the sea is no different from normal deposition when rainfall increases the flows of streams. They allege the statement was political exploitation by the Communist Party.

Still no licence application from the Chinese megastore. Machico Council, who also have to give authorization,  have received an application but the Regional Directorate of Trade, Industry and Energy have not. The store is supposed to be opening in November.

Lisbon orders review of ‘factoring’ debts used by Funchal Council to circumvent the debt limit, costing 327,000 Euros in commissions and interest. In 2008, the Tribunal de Contas (Court of Auditors) acquitted the council of ‘factoring’ debts to suppliers. This was to reduce the amount of interest payable and therefore beneficial to the council. ‘Factoring’ is when the suppliers are paid through the bank using short-term credit and the council have a duty to pay the bank and not the suppliers. Lisbon has upheld the appeal that this does count as debt. This latest ruling means that the mayor, Miguel Albuquerque might be liable to pay a fine of 6.50 Euros, Rui Marote a former councillor 9,000 Euros and Pedro Calado a councillor 1,350 Euros.

The President of the Tribunal de Contas has also complained that parliamentary groups in the Legislative Assembly are not submitting accounts supporting transfers they have received, but refused to name them.

Carlos Pereira sues Jardim for 35,000 Euros. Carlos Pereira is the deputy of the Socialist Party in the Regional Assembly (Parliament). Pereira manages a consulting firm and is suing for loss of dignity and professional competence, and as it is a civil case Jardim does not have immunity from prosecution. There have been previous court cases between these two. —– Who hasn’t Jardim offended?

Conference for school leavers to warn them about becoming victims of international trafficking networks. Illegal immigration and trafficking involving sex and labour exploitation. For labour exploitation of Portuguese, the main countries involved are the Netherlands, United Kingdom, France, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Spain and Ireland.

Mortgage interest rates the lowest ever. 2.36% in September, the average repayment was 263 Euros. —- Will this stimulate buying?

Government promotes organic farming to schoolchildren. Organic farming is increasing both in terms of farmers and area under cultivation. Between 2000 and 2008, the area under cultivation has increased from 21.5 hectares to 237 hectares, and the number of farmers from 17 to 77. This is an increase of over 350% and represents 5% of the total cultivated area of Madeira and Porto Santo.

In 2010, there might be centres for medical and psychological evaluation (CAMP) for assessment for a driving licence. This law has just been passed in Portugal and will be applicable in Madeira if the Regional Government decides to implement it. The applicant has to pay the fee whereas at present they just need a free medical certificate from the family doctor. This includes anyone over 70 who needs to renew their licence. Psychological evaluation will only be necessary for applicants in certain groups.

"Obrigado Madeira!" The only words said in Portuguese by the President of the Republic of Poland, visiting yesterday for the tribute to Marshal Josef Pilsudski. He praised Poland’s good relationship with the region and highlighted similarities between both countries; reclaimed democracy and freedom in  Europe and NATO, and growth despite the present economic climate. He said that Madeira "is a bit of a different world." He was "delighted" to see the statue of Polish Pope John Paul II. Miguel Albuquerque said that Funchal and Gdansk had a good partnership. The Polish representative said that 80% of Poles want to stay in the EU because they feel safer.

Google Street View coming to Madeira. According to Diário Cidade. The areas visited will be Funchal, Câmara de Lobos and Caniço. The data will be available in about two months time and the purpose is to aid tourism, education and housing.

Hunger strike next to Tribunal da Vara Mista in Funchal. The man involved is unhappy about salary issues related to an accident when falling seven metres off scaffolding during the construction of a building next to a school in Santa Cruz last year. He sat near the Tribunal entrance from 15.00 Tuesday, stayed overnight and was persuaded to leave late Wednesday by a lawyer and a relative.

Brazilian war frigate, ‘Defensora’ in port. The frigate has been to Scotland for training exercises with Navies from different countries, and has stopped here on its return to Brazil. It is an opportunity to make contact with the Portuguese Navy and Portuguese people, and to enjoy the hospitality of Madeira.

From today’s news (back to Der) :

Many may not remember, as there have been no reports for months, but ‘Baby Rodrigo’, the Madeiran born baby who needed and eventually received a bone marrow transplant earlier this year, eventually rejected it and died in Funchal yesterday. Rodrigo was diagnosed with leukaemia six weeks after birth, and a nationwide hunt was launched to find a donor, but unsuccessfully. Eventually, at the twelfth hour, an international search found a suitable donor in Germany, and the operation was successfully undertaken in Lisbon in May. He died in hospital in Funchal yesterday aged just 14 months.

From today’s Diário front page :

Madeira exports hospital waste that ought to be burned in Meia Serra (at the waste processing plant). A war between the Valor Ambiente and the consortium contractor of the waste processing plant pulled back the treatment and systems of hazardous waste years ago. The current procedure is more expensive.

Main headline : Council sues Metropolitana – The Development Society plays down the critics of the irregular dumping connected with its works on the Public Walkway project in Praia Formosa, making an analogy with the mud that on a rainy day is washed naturally from the rivers into the sea. Funchal Council reacts with an action that will result in a fine for Metropolitana. I just realised that Elaine covered it above, so it looks like the same story has been promoted to the front page.

Queiroz counts on Ruben Micael. Micael (photo),  from Câmara de Lobos, that plays (a blinder) for Nacional, has been selected by national coach Carlos Queiroz for the preliminary squad to play against Bosnia in the World Cup play-off game. The selection, thought by many to be overdue, may lead to a regular place in the Portugal squad that will go to South Africa next year, that is of course if they can beat Bosnia on 14th and 18th November. Another Nacional player João Aurélio has been selected for the national under-21 squad to play against England (14th November) and Greece (17th November).

Romeira invites daughter-in-law to be assistant. The auntie of the daughter-in-law will be secretary of the president of São Vicente, that appointed his colleague at the hospital as office manager. Hope that’s correct, and isn’t it great to know that nepotism still rules here on Madeira.

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Today’s Diário is almost true to the letter of the ‘law’, which says that on the day before elections there should be no political activity and it should serve as a day of reflection, and only has one political story today, compared to an average of around 30 every day this week. The law specifies that candidates cannot go out on the streets pestering people, rallies are banned, and normally political propaganda posters have to be removed from the streets, and that last point is the subject of today’s article. Because of the close proximity of the local elections, the National Election Commission has decided to turn a blind eye to the fact that streets are still littered with posters, and would presumably just be replaced again on Monday if the law was enforced.

Anyway, I am going to have to break that rule with a true story* of an important, or rather unfortunate, political event that happened late last night here in Ribeira Brava. It was strange really, as I have already said that there have been no rallies or candidates visiting the town as far as I know, and even the number of posters could be counted on one hand. I think this town must have a reputation as a political ‘dead zone’, but last night that was all about to change.

It must have been around 11.30 pm, just 30 minutes before any political activity became illegal, when I entered a late night drinking establishment, and as is normal I did a quick scan of the joint before taking a seat at the bar. I recognised all of the faces, a dozen or so, except for one man in a grey suit sat at the far end of the bar from me. He looked like he had come straight out of a second hand car lot, with greased back black hair and a goaty beard (no no not goatee!), you know the sort. Anyway I greeted those nearest to me and ordered a soft drink (well it was certainly soft if one poked a finger in it), and quickly surveyed the joint, noticing a number of red objects on the bar and tables where people were sat. Some people had red baseball caps, note books, pens, pencils, and a few even had bright red oven mitts. Strange I thought, but the sight of my beverage arriving and the man in the grey suit getting off his stool and heading my way distracted my attention. I gave the barman a €5 note, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the grey suited man plonk himself on the stool next to me and put a large white carrier bag on the floor between us. I have no need for a second hand car, so I was already mentally practicing my "no speaking Portuguese" retort as I could see he was about to speak to me, and he did.

I will have to divert from the story at this stage, just to explain something highly relevant. My oven gloves at home have been in poor condition for some time now. It all started one time when someone else was using them, and a large black burn hole appeared on one hand (yes I know who you are, and I haven’t forgotten that you tried to hide the fact). After that things went downhill, and the stitching started working loose, and stains appeared that couldn’t be shifted however many times they went in the washing machine. For several years now I have been looking out for new oven gloves, you know the sort where both hands are joined together, but the only pair I saw cost 11.49 bl**dy Euros. I had seen plenty of ‘one handed’ oven mitts, but they just wouldn’t do the same job, and by the time I had brought two they would work out to be even more expensive. The best thing to do therefore was to minimise use of the oven, until the problem could be resolved, and as a result it hasn’t been switched on since last Christmas. Anyway back to last night …

The man spoke to me with forked political tongue, and pointed to his white carrier bag on the floor. What is it this time I thought, wet fish, lapas, overpriced undersized pyjamas, … but as a courtesy I looked down and peered into the bag to spot lots of red objects … type as previously described as littering the tables of the establishment at that precise moment. A deep stoop and a closer peer into the bag, and I could see red notepads with a white PS branded on the covers. It then suddenly dawned on me that this man was either a campaigner, or even an actual candidate for the PS socialist party, and that this was his bag of goodies to entice the wavering voters. Of course I am unable to vote in national elections, but clearly he didn’t know that yet, and I had to think quickly and slip on my best Portuguese tongue before my cover was blown, in order to acquire the maximum selection from that white bag, hopefully even a red oven mitt, or even two. Just then my change arrived from the €5 note, and I put out my left hand to receive it, and answered the man’s question with an equal measure of forked tongue, about how I was thinking of voting PS, but that I was still torn between them and the BE Left Block, who had a much catchier theme tune. A few seconds went by, and I couldn’t hold back any longer, and I spouted out "tem lá lutas". He didn’t understand, so I pointed with my right hand to my raised left hand, which was purely by chance clenched tightly as it still contained my change from the bar, and repeated "luta, luta", waving my clenched fist, not really being sure of the exact complete word for oven gloves. His expression changed, and at that point things started to go downhill. Anyway, to cut a long story short, as I wrestled him to the floor, a beer got knocked over soaking his grey suit, and as other customers heard the breaking glass, bodies came running over to pull us apart. Strangely though, it was as I had my hands around his throat that I suddenly remembered that the Portuguese word for ‘glove’ is in fact ‘luva’, and logically ‘oven glove’ would be ‘luva do forno’. ‘Luta’ means ‘fight’.

Anyway we got separated, and after a few minutes of exchanging threats and insults, when the best I could manage was "I’m going to tell Uncle Bertie where you live" (which drew blank looks all around) the matter was eventually straightened out. But after all that, he didn’t have any oven mitts left. I did however get a nice pencil with a built in eraser, a pretty cr*ppy pen, and a PS notepad.

That was the night that politics in Ribeira Brava came ‘back to life’.

* Embellished in parts for heightened enjoyment

I am a bit the worse for wear this morning, having unexpectedly stayed out until 2am last night, but I have a good excuse so I am not in the least bit embarrassed. 

It was a sort of strange night, as I went into town just as it was getting dark. I was feeling a bit down, after a day when nothing seemed to go right, and in a week I when learned that there is going to be a huge new building constructed across from me, planing consent having just been granted. So what you say? This new building is bigger than the one where I live, and that’s pretty big. So what you say? My building needed many many months to prepare the land, just taking out rock to shape the site, this new bigger project is going to take out much more rock … so there will be months and months of tak tak tak tak as the machines take out thousands of tonnes. If you have ever lived in a narrow valley with pneumatic drills in use, you will know what I mean. Even the elections that were cheesing me off a little, have paled into insignificance compared to that prospect.

So I went into a regular haunt for a chat, then I went off to watch some of the late match in a restaurant, when a friend turned up. He told me that Vânia Fernandes was in town, and singing in another restaurant at 11pm. If you don’t know who Vânia is by now, you must have missed a lot of previous blogs. Madeira’s favourite daughter is the winner of last years pop idol competition in Portugal, as well as the entrant for last years Eurovision song contest. I had seen her perform live once before, and I was well up for a repeat performance.

Vânia Fernandes in Ribeira Brava May 2009

I didn’t know any of the music (mostly Jazz-Soul), but she was fantastic, in presence and in voice. She got the audience involved for one song, and she is such a natural on stage that it was mesmerising to watch. She did half a dozen songs I guess, and her boyfriend also did a couple of numbers, so it was all over pretty quickly. Once the show was over Vânia wondered around talking to friends, which she clearly had plenty of there, and then went indoors with her band members. What came next I didn’t expect, as I mentioned to my pal that I would love to meet her, and 5 minutes later there she was, right in front of me, giving me a big hug and beijinhos. She was lovely, and she stayed a few minutes to chat and have her photo taken with me, and I was so overcome I totally forgot how to speak Portuguese, I was almost speechless in fact, and just babbled a load of nonsense.

So anyway, that made my day, and my week. I am promised a copy of the photo of me and Vânia in an embrace, so I might share that when it comes. Vânia said she would check out this blog today, and I know I have said all nice things about her, but they are all true and she deserves them! Thank you Vânia!

As far as meeting Madeira’s most famous people goes, that’s two down, two to go. CR7 and Uncle Bertie might prove to be a bit trickier me thinks.

PS – sorry about the poor photo … I only had my camera phone to hand, and it was very dark

Last Sunday for me was my worst nightmare come true. A real health emergency, my own! … something I had often thought about, but dreaded having to face.

Without going into too many details about my own health, on Saturday morning I was doing someone a good turn, and felt something go in my back (the mind may boggle here, but please don’t let it!). I knew straight away that was my weekend was written off, but it happens, and a day or two of rest normally does the trick. I had a ticket to go and watch the the Nacional v Sporting game that afternoon, so that was my biggest disappointment.

Anyway, come Saturday night I was in agony. My leg was almost paralised, my back was on fire, and to get to the loo involved sliding along the floor. Needless to say sleep was hard to come by, and by 6am on Sunday morning I realised my options had run out. I slid around the house gathering some things and got dressed and made that dreaded 112 call at 7am. Neither the first or second telephone operator spoke any English, but I am sufficiently able now to cope with that in the local dialect. The fire brigade (ambulance driver) rang 5 minutes later for directions, and within 10 minutes of the first call they had arrived, bringing a wheelchair as requested. With just a five minute ride to the local health centre, it was all off to a good start … if you can call agony a good start! And I was the first and only patient … even better. A quick chat with the duty doctor and it was down with the pants and in with the needle. There must of been 10 staff, including cleaners, even at that time of the morning. They were all very amused by the fact that I chose to sit on the floor (for reasons of comfort), one person pointing out that floor was a dirty place to sit … perhaps a surprising comment as she was the hospital cleaner. Anyway, after waiting 40 minutes or so, the injection had had no effect, so I was whisked back into the ambulance and off to Funchal Central Hospital accident and emergency department (or the equivalent of). The ambulance drivers and staff at Ribeira Brava were excellent, and nothing but praise up until arriving at FCH.

You will probably remember from a week or so ago I reported about the new computerised patient management system in FCH was causing some problems, and combined with high flu levels, the hospital was struggling, with some low priority patients waiting all day to be seen. But I had no need to worry, as having been transferred to another wheelchair by the ambulance crew, I was wheeled around to ‘triage’ and was seen within 5 minutes by the triage nurse. I was given the white sticker which was stuck on my shirt, and then wheeled around to the Orthopaedics (the A & E equivalent) department and put in a waiting area alone. First in line I thought great … pain relief just a few minutes away. For those who don’t remember, ‘green stickers’ are for higher priority patients, but as it happens that day they had run out of green stickers, so everyone had white, and those with higher priority had their sticker swiped with a yellow highlighter pen. Now these stickers are supposed to prioritise patients and provide security control for the hospital, but they in fact did neither, and instead gave the wearer a false sense of expectation about their health problem rating and hospital security. I spent around 6 hours without any sticker at all after a nurse took mine off. As for patient prioritising, the stickers seemed pretty meaningless, as the A & E staff worked from a handwritten list of names, which was added to when someone new came along. So if for example you were sent to X-ray by the doctor, it seemed that you then went to the back of the queue for the follow-up consultation.

Anyway, my dream of being first in the queue was soon dashed, as hospital in-patients were wheeled into A & E on their beds and in wheelchairs, and it was about an hour and a half before it was eventually my turn. I was then taken to see the one and only duty doctor, who told me I would need to go to X-ray before going any further. I begged to have some medication to help with the pain before I went, and he obliged with a drip medicine which took over an hour to get into me, but unfortunately had no effect whatsoever, and just delayed my trip to X-ray. 

It was probably around midday when I went into X-ray, and that was very impressive with automated scanners flying around all over the room, but even so they were having trouble accommodating me as I was unable to leave my wheelchair and stand up straight. OK, up until this point I was still pretty impressed with how the day had gone so far, with lesser waits than I had expected, but still with expectations of being either admitted or sent home within a couple of hours, and maybe even getting a late lunch, as I had nothing so far that day. But that’s when it all started going wrong.

I was wheeled back from X-ray to A & E, to find a lot of new patients had arrived, and I was now at the back of the queue to be seen by the doctor. There were as many foreigners there as locals, mostly with twisted ankles and knocks from walking trips (or so it seemed judging by the big boots they were mostly wearing).

The doctor and his assistant were the only ones I came across all day who spoke any English. That was helpful as my sparse and broken Portuguese would have faired pretty badly in such important and technical conversations. Although the ambulance driver who later took me home also spoke English.

Digressing again for a moment, going to hospital for whatever reason is always a depressing affair, unless you work there, and one thing patients and visitors can take a little comfort in is the nurses, particularly and traditionally for men. I have to say that I was disappointed on this score to find that nurses, orderlies, and other staff were dressed in pastel green or blue, depending on status, and their uniforms of creased loose fitting jackets and trousers were very disappointing in the nurses uniform sense, and totally spoilt the one possible highlight of the day.  

Anyway, after a long wait I eventually got back to see the doctor again, probably around 3pm. He showed me my X-ray and gave a diagnosis, and then sent me off to sit under another painkilling drip which lasted an hour or more, and unfortunately that again had no effect whatsoever. So back in to the doctor again for an injection into the rear end, and this time it did start to work and some partial relief was very very welcome. When I told the doctors assistant, he said OK, now we just need to get you a prescription and we are finished. He had already explained that their objective was to relieve the immediate pain, decide on the medicine needed, and get me discharged. Admission to the hospital was not a consideration in any circumstances, even though I explained I had no care for me back at home. He told me that the injection I had been given would be effective for UP TO 8 hours, which was quite critical to me getting home after getting to a pharmacy, and going straight to bed. I figured that as long as the pain relief lasted the full 8 hours, I had until midnight at the latest to get into bed at home having taken my prescribed medicine. That was not to be the way it worked out however.

I remember at about 6.30pm sitting in my wheelchair looking at my watch and thinking I am so hungry. I had been on the go since 7am, and nothing to eat or drink all day so far, but I was thinking that was just the way it worked, and I would have to just grin and bear it. Of course, had I not been in a wheelchair, and afraid of missing my next slot, that somewhat limited my options to go and seek refreshment myself. I could have easily left over two hours earlier, I wa
s just waiting for that bit of paper I needed to take to the pharmacy. The place was pretty busy by now, and I tuned into a group conversation from some dissatisfied patients who thought they had been waiting too long and were unhappy with the prioritising system and people getting seen out of turn. My opportunity to chip in arose, and I proudly informed them that I had been there since 9am (at least 3 hours longer than anyone else still remaining) and had not even had a glass of water so far that day. Stunned silence and disbelieving expressions ensued, but it must of sunk in somewhere, because it must have been mentioned to a member of staff, as within half an hour I was presented with a bowl of lukewarm and pretty tasteless vegetable soup. Nether-the-less I devoured it in seconds, grateful for anything at that point.

At around 6pm the customary cackling old woman arrived, strapped to her trolley-bed. At first people found her amusing, as did I, as she cackled non stop at full volume. The nurses tried numerous times to get her to shut up, to no avail, and after a couple of hours subjected to that the general feeling of depression was increased for all. She was still in full flow when I left 5 hours after she came in. She, like other old people, were coming in accompanied by several relatives taking up the waiting area seats so the real patients couldn’t get a seat. It seems that taking granny to hospital is treated as a bit of a family day out.

Digressing again, Funchal Central Hospital is a bit of a tired looking place decor wise, but it was clean, spacious, reasonably maintained, and seemed to have everything it needed, for dealing with me at least.

My last ‘drip’ was completed at around 4pm, but at 7pm I still had the needle sticking out of my arm. I had to ask 3 times to have it removed before someone eventually came and did it. I had said to two staff members during the early afternoon that if I was going to be discharged then I would need assistance to get home, including the use of a wheelchair. It was made pretty clear early on that the objective was to discharge me once a way had been found to deal with the immediate pain, and that relief happened at around 4pm. The ambulance to take me home didn’t arrive to pick me up until nearly 11pm. There was one man who seemed to be in charge of organising this, and for sure he wasn’t using a computerised system, and whether cash passed hands to jump the queue I couldn’t say. But at one time in desperation I wheeled myself out to the ambulance pick up point to plead for the next ambulance out, but this man told me I couldn’t wait outside, and against my will wheeled me back to the A & E waiting area.

Eventually I was told my ambulance was ready, 14 hours after arriving that morning and nearly 7 hours after my treatment and consultations were complete. I bit my tongue throughout and wasn’t rude and didn’t complain, and whether that worked in my favour or not I will never know. Unfortunately I was so late leaving, that the pharmacies were closed and as a result I didn’t get my pain relief medicine until the following afternoon. In the meantime the effects of the injection at around 4pm had long since worn off, so I ended up going home in as much pain as when I had started out that morning. The ambulance staff were excellent though, and wheeled me and then carried me to where I needed to be next to my bed at home.

So, after my 14 hour visit, just to really get an injection and prescription, was I impressed? Not really. I think the facilities are acceptable, and the staff were able, pleasant and accommodating, and the disappointing soup was a minor concern that could be overcome with a little sachet of salt and access to a microwave oven. The lack of attractive staff uniforms were a much greater concern however, as without a pretty nurse or two the whole experience is a total downer, and I don’t think low patient morale is not a good recipe for speedy recovery. The fact that there was only one doctor available is another concern, and makes the department name ‘Urgencies’ somewhat meaningless. The organisation of patients however was totally unacceptable, from the worthless sticker scheme right through to leaving the hospital. But that is what this new computerised system is supposed to address, so perhaps my ‘accident’ just occurred at the wrong time.

Maybe I was just unlucky with my own situation, but I can only reiterate that I was in extreme pain for many hours. To send me home when the only effective pain relief treatment had worn off was unacceptable, and possibly dangerous. Given my circumstances they should have kept me in overnight at least.

Anyway, just to finish up, I would say that I was so glad that my little bit of substandard Portuguese was so useful. Without it I probably couldn’t even have summoned an ambulance, let alone understood what was going on at the hospital, which would otherwise at the very least been confusing, if not even more scary.

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BTW – Snow here again in  the high zones, and Tobi sent in this video link :

http://www.dnoticias.pt/default.aspx?file_id=dn03010101300109

You shouldn’t need to sign in to the Diário website anymore.

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www.madeira4u.com

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Madeira – The Best All Round Climate In Europe?

 When searching for a European destination for a short break or holiday, surely Madeira Island offers the best climate of anywhere? So many people couldn’t even point to it on a map, and there is a common misconception that it sits in mainland Spain, often being confused with the City of Madrid.

With a summer maximum of 29 centigrade (OK, occasionally there have been exceptions), and a winter low of around 17 centigrade, where else can you find such bearable temperatures. Even the sea only wavers a degree or two above and below the 20 centigrade mark all year around. But, I have to be honest here and say that climate is not necessarily the case for the whole island, as clearly the higher you go, and also the more northerly you travel there is a greater chance of rain, and there has on occasions been snow on the mountain tops.

However, if you stick to the southerly coast and go west from Funchal (the capital city), as far as Calheta or maybe a little beyond, the weather is pretty unbeatable. The island is like that, its full of microclimates, and even the types of trees and plants vary visibly across the island.Rain is a pretty rare event along this stretch, with the odd few long and heavy showers during the year, but over the last 4 years, rain worthy of mention has probably fallen less than once a month on average, mostly in the winter.

 Now, should you go to one of the many weather forecasting websites to see if this article carries any fact, you may well see predictions of cloud and rain, and that forecast will be based on Atlantic weather systems, which may or may not stray over Madeira in part or in full. In reality the weather phenomenon is generated by Madeira’s own mountainous terrain, forcing hot air to cool rapidly and precipitate over the higher ground. For those of you who have been to Tenerife Island, you will see a very similar weather variation between the north and the south.

What is amazing however, is despite this very dry climate along the coast, rain in the mountains is plentiful, and due to the volcanic nature of the rock and a system of over 2,000 kilometres of very old surface level water channels – Madeira Levada – the island stays wonderfully green all year around and is famed for its wild and natural flower displays – Madeira FlowersOK, so I hear the Canary Islands are warmer, but firstly do they really count as European, just because they use the € currency. They do have strong historical links and dependencies on mainland Spain, but they are outside of EU control for administrative matters, and for example, they don’t have the tax or customs duty regime for items purchased by tourists to take back home, such as on spirits and cigarettes.

 Secondly, even if you do consider the Canary Islands to be part of mainstream Europe, the climate may on average be slightly warmer all year around, but who wants to be in 40ºc sweltering heat for weeks on end during the height of summer? 29ºc is quite warm enough for the vast majority of us, and it doesn’t often hit that on Madeira.

Anyway, the rest of mainland Europe falls well outside of the discussion, and even the Mediterranean islands don’t enjoy winters as nearly as mild as the Madeirans do. The weather of Madeira is something of a well guarded secret, as is the Madeiran archipelago in many respects. The average age of the visiting tourist is 55, and there is a good reason for that, and that is because older people feel the cold more and know where to go to avoid it.

With around 1.5 million foreign visitors each year, the islands of Madeira and Porto Santo save these people millions of euros in heating bills back home, and allow them the freedom to spend most of the winter outdoors. Winter is a peak season for Madeira, especially so over the new year period.

Whilst for certain many people will have differing views on the best European climates, those who don’t try a winter or summer break on Madeira at sometime in their lives, they have not only missed out a practical guarantee of good weather, they have also missed out on one of the most beautiful travel destinations in the world.

As the final testimony in the case for Madeira weather, it is a fact that practically nobody has either heating systems or air conditioning, either in their home, or their place of work.