Madeira News Blog

There was a pretty overwhelming demand to expose the self-confessed Levada Mugger, with only Benedict wanting to spare him, and Osama wanting to recruit him, so here is the picture. It’s not great quality, but you can clearly see here the Levada Mugger (right) with one of his 12 children and wife, squandering their ill gotten gains on beer! It’s a disgrace! I will be passing the photo onto the Police, in the hope they can identify and stop this man posing as Santa and mugging innocent tourists walking the once safe levadas of Madeira.

P.S. Disclaimer – If you are a real tourist intending to walk the levada’s of Madeira, don’t be put off by the menacing figure in the picture. Really he is a coward, and he won’t prey on levada walkers if they are in groups of one or more people, and it’s rumoured that most of the time he preys on innocent rabbits walking alone. If you see him offer him large quantities of red wine, like a whole glass at a time. This is known to render him helpless and almost speechless, giving you plenty of time to alert the authorities.

www.madeira4u.com

A second merry xmas wish to anyone who is sat at their computer tonight.

I looked out over the town this morning at around 10.00 … totally lifeless and totally devoid of sound, I think even the church clock was having the morning off … but hang on, there was the earthshattering sounds of 2 superbangers just after 10. I got home about 1am this morning, well ready for bed after a fun but uneventful night out in town. There were many hundreds of people in the streets and bars, probably the busiest night I have ever seen here, with children, parents, and grandparents all together.

The church was packed as I went past about an hour before midnight mass, with many hundreds having to stand outside and listen to the service through the audio system. Everyone was happy, everyone was smiling, no excessive drunks, no trouble … great!

In the first bar we went to there was a customer with a banjo of some sort playing to the customers, accompanied by a singing pal, who asked us to buy them a drink (it happens, as the perception amongst many locals is that foreigners are all rich). We got given free food in two bars, including steaming hot cod and potato mini pasties (pasteis de bacalhau), and free drinks arrived out of nowhere in another. Although we were home by 1am, I know for sure that the rest of the population were out much longer, as the last bars only close when the last people have gone home, and that is exactly why it was so quiet this morning.

There is a newspaper out today, but I can’t be bothered with that. Everything on the island is closed today with the exception of some bars and restaurants, and I hear that the cinemas in Funchal are also open.

Just for those people who live in other countries, I can tell you that we had a bright sunny xmas day in my part of Madeira with a few wisps of cloud, and the temperature rose to a totally bearable 20ºc (chilly 19ºc in Funchal). It was even better yesterday, I saw a dozen or more people sunbathing on the beach.

Enjoy the rest of your Xmas … until tomorrow.

www.madeira4u.com

HAPPY XMAS EVERYONE! … nothing but fun with special guest Mickey, and Xmas greeting messages today:

To get the answers, click on the “A”, keep it held down, and drag the cursor down …

Over to you Mickey …

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?

A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the red suit gets all the credit.

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?                                 A: Sandy Claus! Yes I know it’s pathetic!

The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger.  One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. “Jesus Christ!” he shouted. Joseph said, “Write that down, Mary, it’s much better than Ebenezer!”

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A: Snowflakes.

Q: What did Adam say to his woman on the night before Christmas ?

A: “It’s Christmas Eve !”

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?                                                                               A: Polish, or to be more precise North Polish (I wonder if he pays pole ta?)

After a heavy night taking Santa around the world delivering presents Rudolph walked into a snack-bar in Funchal, wandered up to the counter and ordered a poncha. Without batting an eyelid, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, who handed over a twenty-euro note. The barman handed the reindeer a few coins in change, he said “You know, I think you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here.” Rudolph looked hard at the hoofful of change and said “Hmmmpf! at these flipping prices, I’m probably the last reindeer you’ll ever see in here.” (… even hard working reindeer have to pay tourist prices on Madeira!)

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?                                A: Claustrophobic.

… Back to you Der …

“All I got for christmas was a new comb, but I will never part with it”

(if you don’t get this, you will need to look here :  http://www.madeira4u.com/m4u_Front_Pages/aboutus.html )

Also, don’t forget to let me know whether I should expose the self-confessed levada mugger or not … you the people decide … if the majority think he should be exposed, his photo will appear tomorrow. Bear in mind it’s Xmas, and he does have 12 kids.

OK that’s it for starters, but keep checking back during the day ……. Have a great day, and see you down the pub later maybe.

www.madeira4u.com